Liberty City Sprint/Transcript

Stephen Phelps: Good morning, contestants.

Brandon Graves: Good morning.

Jamie Hesketh: Dude, this is going to get so many likes.

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: Shut up, nerd!

Brian Rucker: Yo, take a chill pill, man.

Kyle Rutledge: Ugh... the hangover... it's killing me...

Brandon Graves: That's why I told you that you had to take that beer from me.

Stephen Phelps: Alright, I've sorted you guys out, and you will be on teams based on your past relations with the other contestants.

Steve Morrison: What the hell? OK, I suppose.

Stephen Phelps: Brian, Alex, Phil, and Larry, you will be known as the San Antonio Express offense.

Alex Giles: Nice! We're back as a team, man!

Phil Thomas: Yeah! Let's do this!

Larry "Fuego" Dyson: Nice one, boys.

Brian Rucker: The Killa B and his gang are back, bois!

Wilson, Dave, and Chris, you will be known as the San Antonio Express defense.

Wilson Young: Shocking the world is what we do best. It's game time!

Dave Satoransky: I will win this for Croatia!

Chris Randle: Where's the nearest McDonald's at?

Stephen Phelps: We've got 1 here. It's by the gas station. Anyway, Brandon, Kyle, you will be known as the Barfighting Bros.

Brandon Graves: Alright, Kyle. Stay calm. Don't let that hangover get into your head.

Kyle Rutledge: Thanks for the advice. I'll try to stay calm whenever I'm sober.

Stephen Phelps: Derrick, Tim, you will be known as the Unbreakable Connection.

Derick Nevers: I think we mesh perfectly. I'm powerful, and he's precise.

Tim Blackwater: Agreed. I've thrown it to you so many times, and I know you are incredibly reliable.

Stephen Phelps: Jamie, Eric, you will be known as the Northwest Passengers.

Eric Thompson: Passengers? Come on. There's only 1 seat in an F1 car.

Jamie Hesketh: Indeed there is. But, maybe we should focus on other things.

Stephen Phelps: Clark, Panzer, and Steve, you will be known as The Hotheads.

Clark "The Cannon" Gannon: Alright, I'm not nearly as much of a hothead, anymore.

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: Mein gott? Muss dass sein!

Steve Morrison: I mean, I am kind of an egomaniac.

Stephen Phelps: And finally, Phoenix, Frank, Omega, and Thomas, you are Dark Phoenix.

Phoenix Gregory: Alright, guys. I think we know what to do.

Omega Anderson: Yes.

Thomas Blade: End the Undertaker's career once and for all?

Frank Lassiter: This isn't the WWE. But, we should just listen to Phoenix.

Stephen Phelps: Alright, I have the first challenge set up.

* stephen pulls down sheet to reveal map*

It's a race around the city! The last team to make it from here, to the Liberty Street Circuit, to the gas station, to the McDonalds, to the bar, to the boxing gym, and back to here will be up for elimination. Go!

Larry "Fuego" Dyson: This is my specialty. I'm a speed machine.

Brian Rucker: I'm fast, too, but I wouldn't go that far.

Alex Giles: I'm thinking we should help Phil out. Being an offensive lineman, this isn't his specialty.

Phil Thomas: Yeah. However, I can still go pretty fast for a guy who weighs over 330 pounds.

* cuts to the defense*

Wilson Young: Alright. We're balanced, here.

Dave Satoransky: Alright, so, all we do is run?

Chris Randle: Yeah. Let's keep going.

* camera cuts to passengers*

Eric Thompson: Maybe I can take my Er-Flow ET01 to the destination?

Jamie Hesketh: But you just said that it has 1 seat.

Eric Thompson: Oh. You're right. I forgot for a second. Let's just run.

* camera cuts to barfighters*

Kyle Rutledge: I... need... a drink...

Brandon Graves: I packed 1 single whiskey. Here you go.

* kyle drinks whiskey*

Kyle Rutledge: I feel so much better now! This is what a real man feels like!

* kyle dashes to the finish line while carrying brandon*

Stephen Phelps: WOW! That was absolutely incredible! Well, looks like the Barfighting Bros. are safe!

Brandon Graves: Epic performance there, bud.

Kyle Rutledge: No problem.

* camera cuts to unbreakables*

Derrick Nevers: We're almost there to the track, Timmy!

Tim Blackwater: *slap* It's Timothy!

Derrick Nevers: Oh. Well, looks like we've made it.

Timothy Blackwater: We still have quite a while left, you dolt!

* camera cuts to hotheads*

Clark "The Cannon" Gannon: I think that this is the gas station.

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: Of course it is! What kind of idiot would think that it's something else?

Steve Morrison: Kim Kardashian, obviously.

* camera cuts to dark phoenix*

Omega Anderson: Where are you going, Thomas?

Thomas Blade: I know exactly how to make it to the end.

Phoenix Gregory: I approve. Frank, let's follow him.

Frank Lassiter: OK, man.

* cuts to dark phoenix arriving at the airport*

Thomas Blade: Alright, guys. Get in. I notice that Stephen fell asleep, so we can get away with this.

* dark phoenix enters helicopter*

Frank Lassiter: When did you get this thing?

Thomas Blade: One of my friends from the military let me rent it.

* helicopter reaches the destination after some time*

Thomas Blade: Deploy the parachutes! I'll fly this thing back!

* frank, phoenix, and omega arrive, as thomas flies the copter back*

Thomas Blade: I've made it back, guys!

Omega Anderson: Stephen! Wake up!

Stephen Phelps: My, oh my! I didn't mean to nap for that long! Anyway, Dark Phoenix is safe!

Phoenix Gregory: High fives, guys!

* dark phoenix do high fives, camera cuts to express offense*

Brian Rucker: We have kicked it to a new extreme!

Alex Giles: Yeah, man. We're already here at the boxing gym.

Phil Thomas: Look! I see the finish line in sight!

Larry "Fuego" Dyson: We've made it, bois!

Stephen Phelps: The Express offense is safe!

* cuts to unbreakables*

Derrick Nevers: Tim, why are you slowing down?

Tim Blackwater: I have no stamina left.

Derrick Nevers: I can throw you there.

Tim Blackwater: Alright, buff guy. Do it.

* derrick throws tim to finish, and runs to the end*

Stephen Phelps: The Unbreakables are safe!

* camera cuts to passengers*

Jamie Hesketh: Hey! Eric! The finish line is right over here!

Uhhh.... Eric?

Eric Thompson: What is it, Jamie? I was doing practice laps on the street circuit.

Jamie Hesketh: Hear me! I'm right here, at the finish line, and I need you to come ASAP!

Eric Thompson: Oh, shit! I forgot!

* camera cuts to hotheads*

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: I just want to beat the hell out of you right now, weakling Morrison!

Steve Morrison: Why? What did I do wrong?

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: You can't even lift up these weights that I set up!

Steve Morrison: Well, you obviously set them up to be unliftable!

Clark "The Cannon" Gannon: Hey, can you 2 just chill out, for a second?

Steve Morrison: I'm trying to.

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: That's because you are a pathetic weakling! You must be punished! Voters, if we lose, get that pathetic Morrison out!

Steve Morrison: I mean, we wouldn't be in this predicament if you hadn't made a stop here in this boxing gym.

* camera cuts to express defense*

Chris Randle: Man! This is so good! I've been dying to go to this place forever!

Wilson Young: Interesting. This is so good, that it's hard to believe that it came from McDonalds.

Dave Satoransky: I agree. I'm so glad that you stopped by to visit here, Chris.

Kori Lehtonen: Thanks, guys! It's nice to take a break from my F1 job to work here. I always wanted to be an F1 driver, but being a chef was my secondary passion.

Chris Randle: No problem.

* camera cuts to eric thompson*

Eric Thompson: I'm running as fast as I can, dude! I've just passed the bar!

Jamie Hesketh: I believe in you! Keep going!

* camera cuts to hotheads*

Clark "The Cannon" Gannon: Come on, you 2! You've been fighting for so long, that the other teams have caught up! Let's go!

* camera cuts to express defense*

Dave Satoransky: Keep going! McDonalds power will make us come back!

Chris Randle: I'm going as fast as a 300+ pound D-Lineman has ever gone!

* camera cuts to eric thompson, who is shown crossing the line*

Stephen Phelps: Northwest Passengers are safe! Meaning it's down to the San Antonio Express defense, and the Hotheads.

* dave satoransky and steve morrison shown crossing the line*

Dave Satoransky: I believe in you, guys.

* wilson young and clark "cannon" gannon shown crossing the line*

Wilson Young: Come on, Chris! You can make it!

Clark "The Cannon" Gannon: Panzer, there is still a chance.

* slow motion final lunge between chris randle and panzer krauss*

Stephen Phelps: And Chris crosses the line for the defense, and thus, they defend their team members. They are safe. Which means that the Hotheads are out first team to be up for elimination!

Maxwell "Panzer" Krauss: Mein gott? Muss dass sein!

Stephen Phelps: Vote one of the 3 Hotheads to be eliminated! Whoever gets the most votes will be leaving the show.